Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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