Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
im six kinds of drunk right now
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
