I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
