tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
