Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
