i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
