It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
