Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
