96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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