so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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