quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
