Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
