Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
