we're blogging at a bar
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
