i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
