10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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