That's intense
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
