Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
