I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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