I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
