Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
