My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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