So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
