thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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