Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
