Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
