Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
