He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Walk of Shame today included voting.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
