mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
