Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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