Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
