He disabled his match.com account in front of me
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
