were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
