he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
