plz talk dirty to me
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
