the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
