didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
