I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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