drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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