I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
It's blow job season.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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