you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
