The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
We are all done wearing pants today
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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