Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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