sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
