Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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