beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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