is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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