North Korea, Best Korea!
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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