If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
