We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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