Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
